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Where is the Love?

Now that I have found my Mr. Right and have our pyar ki nishani in my life, I don’t suppose I can hope to feel the rush of blood to my brain (or is it the heart? Is that even logical?), or feel a shopaholic’s urge to pick up gifts on Valentine’s Day. Because that was exactly what had happened on 14th February. We were well aware of the special day, but were content with a good lunch a day earlier, at a favourite restaurant without the baby, and with chocolate doughnuts to sweeten the day. Over the years with S, there had been no doubt about how I wanted to celebrate this day. And before he entered my life, I was a romantic girl sitting in front of the TV watching movies like When Harry Met Sally or Pretty Woman or Bridget Jone’s Diary with a hand placed over my pulsating heart, thinking of the things I would do to celebrate the day if I had a loved one. Yes, it was bad. The hype consumed me, making it difficult to accept the banality of existence with no place for the love to flow. My friends in the all-girls college that I went to were a good place to start with. We gave gifts, chocolates and flowers to each other with pink and red cards to boot. There wasn’t much to worry about in those days clearly.

Anyway, I found myself in front of the TV after Anahita had fallen asleep, without having gifted S anything and without even a chocolate or a flower to mark the day with, but being completely okay and comfortable with the way things were.  Gifts, dinner, chocolates…bah…they were symbolic of the day, yes, but we had created and brought to life a token of our love and it was no mean feat. That gift seemed to remind us of our journey every single day and we were bound by the magic she spun around us. But isn’t that the very reason why there should be a day such as this? To celebrate love…as the restaurant advertisement promises?



Imagine my disappointment on not finding anything suitable on TV. Only Romedy Now lived up to its name and showed some romantic movie, I don’t remember which, but all others were busy showing top action movies at prime time. It was a Sunday after all one can argue, but hey, it was Valentine’s Day. I wondered if this trend was going to last. Over a few years for every sappy, valentine card, you will find one anti-valentine card. Now it has become a tradition to read articles and blog posts that are anti – Valentine. The singles are vehemently propagating them and some are downright hilarious and genuine. They read more on the lines of - what is a Chennai girl or a guy like you, who can’t pronounce ‘love’ without it sounding as if it was somebody’s name ‘Lou’, doing with a red rose and a red t-shirt buying a coffee you don’t know the spelling or pronunciation of, spending money you don’t really have on gifts that whether or not drill a hole in their heart, would definitely make one in your pocket! I kind of agree to that but only as far the hype of celebrating the day is concerned. I do however feel that it is important to remind oneself of the things that matter really in one's life, as is so succinctly in the below quote from Dead Poet's Society.




In our haste to pull down Romance from its airy, whimsical place in giggly, frivolous women’s people’s hallowed mind, we have rather painted the whole genre as being unrealistic…which maybe it is but if taken in isolation.

One can’t expect to be mesmerized by the intensity of a loved one’s gaze when the courting has been long forgotten; to expect to drool over his/her delicious body part long after cellulite and age had played its unforgiving part in it; to expect the spark to be alive through mundane and the drudgery of everyday life; to find time to appreciate the presence of someone in our life immediately after the 10,240th fight on the same issue. The list could go on, but you can see where I am going with this.

Romance, Wiki helpfully pointed out, is something like this. “Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person often associated with sexual attraction. It is eros rather than agape, philia, or storge.” Ermmm whatever the second part of the definition meant, but still the explanation is beautiful. Why are we then so critical of being romantic? Is it wrong to be expressive of our feelings to another person or to have an emotional anchor in a loved one? Why is it seen as a weakness? When did our movies become all action and drama? If there is any romance at all it seems to be done away with at an exotic locale with a foot tapping number and just in case you catch them milking a scene, there you have it they have made a comedy out of it. So now there’s an obligatory nod to romantic comedy, because that’s the only way the majority seems to stomach the ‘R’ genre.

Anyway, I can keep ranting about the whole movie and romance thing, but I shall not. I shall hold my peace and hope for the faithfuls of the genre remain so and keep their partners happy with the little somethings that an otherwise busy or mundane life might not permit; and hope too that the critics soon learn that love is what makes the world go round and for love to prosper you do need a dash of romance in it. For want of a better motivating medium, why not look to these lovely movies for some inspiration?

I have steered clear of the movies that I have mentioned earlier and others of that kind like All About Love, Notting Hill, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Sleepless in Seattle and oh the ever green You’ve Got Mail, and bring your attention to some movies which are not on your face sappy romantic, but are so well treated and different. These movies are especially of the past decade, except for As Good As It Gets, and are the ones that I have seen and liked. In no particular order,




1.       Silver Linings Playbook (2012) – An intense love drama about people with issues falling in love. This beautiful movie with a stellar cast will keep you hooked from the word go. “I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up.” Awww where are those tissues.


2.       As Good As It Gets – A classic. If you have not watched this then truly this whole blog post will sound gibberish to you. “You make me wanna be a better man.” Enough said.

3.       Flipped – A refreshing, young romance based on a book of the same name. Girl loves boy at first sight. Boy totally disinterested. Then boy starts finding her interesting, while she is slowly falling out of love. Will they find love? There are many, many sweet quotes from the movie. But a couple of my favorites are both Bryce Loski’s – “She’s laughing. How could she sit there and laugh and look so beautiful?” and “I had flipped. Completely.”   
4.       Enough Said (2013) – The movie that resonated most with me in recent times. It’s a grown –ups’ love story and it scintillates with its dialogues and cast. One of my favorite quotes from the movie – “I know this sounds corny, but you broke my heart.”

5.       P S I Love You (2007) – The real deal. A tear jerker. One of the bibles of romance and eternal love. Of the life after ‘happily ever after.’ The book was good and it was heartening to see the movie holding its own. Ah…every scene is to be filed away for posterity.
6.       500 Days of Summer (2009) – This is not a love story – the movie begins with this statement. And it goes on to prove just how much love is not a girl thing but guys too feel a lot and that fate plays a big role in who you end up with. The whole movie can have giant quotations marks. Every dialogue or reflection is some revelation about love or relationship.

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Comments

Priyanthi said…
Well written, Jerry! Would like to mention another sweet movie called Little Manhattan. A lovely lovely little movie that had me tearing up.
Jerina J said…
Thanks Priya. Little Manhattan - what a darn sweet movie.

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