Wishing for a predictable New Year

A Happy New Year to you!

And please wish me back, even though it’s a month late. Yeah, I need it.

There have been plenty of happy New Years in the 35 years of my life on earth, and even the others were not really ‘sad’ as much as they were ‘non-happy.’ If you know what I mean. Like sitting up in the night, waiting for the clock to strike twelve so that you can go to sleep and tell your friends the next day that yeah, I did make an effort; I stayed awake and ushered the New Year in. Like, after the euphoria following the New Year, having life and day-to-day problems take over. Nothing remarkable happening that year other than the predictable stuff. 

I cannot think of any one year that hasn't started off the way I have expected it to. Not even when dad expired on December 18^th of 2008, leaving us bereft and helpless. Every single New Year  in the recent past, had started off like usual – the anticipation – what will the new year be like, the excitement – what will be the new year be like, the impatience - what will the new year be like already? The year has 365 days and there are going to be plenty of ups and downs in it. So when I talk about having a good year ahead it’s mostly about having a good start to the year. The newness lasts precisely between the cusp of the old year’s tearful leaving and the New Year’s dawn.

But after the first of January passes by, the rest of the year looks like any other year. Getting back to work on 1^st of January (with or without a hangover), celebrating a slew of Indian festivals, planning holidays, paying bills…you get my drift. Really, we actually should attribute the newness of the year to how we spend the night before the New Year and probably until the euphoria lasts. For me it lasted exactly 48 hours.

Our New Year’s Eve party, which helped kick start the year, was such fun. S and I ran about the whole of 31^st trying to organize the potluck party. Whoever said potluck parties are not much work, needs to have a word with me :-/. We were running about so much, trying to get things together for the party that we really didn't realize that it was the 31^st of December 2013, and the party was to bid adieu to the year and welcome 2014. In the entire melee, it seemed like we were just having a great party, which incidentally, had extended in to the wee hours of 2014.

And then I got pulled into such a vortex of worry, anxiety, late nights and sleeplessness, that I had a tough time believing that indeed it was the January of 2014. Now I am surfacing one month later to wish you all and experience the newness of the year. But I guess the newness seems to have long gone. There might have been Facebook updates galore, clocking memories of 2013 on various media, lists drawn of the best and worst of 2013 etc etc. For me though, it will all have to start now, one month later. And if my weird superstitious beliefs are to be taken seriously then even this situation is not so bad really.

I have certain superstitions beliefs. Ahem…not the ‘don’t walk under the ladder’ or ‘step back if you see a black cat” kind, but the ones that make sense only to me. It’s purely unproven, and the odds are that the results would never the same, but that wouldn't stop me from believing the signs every single year. So it’s like this. I believe that:

1. The people with whom I spend the first day of the New Year, will be a part of my life for the whole year too.
2.  Whatever activity/activities or experiences I predominantly have on the first day will continue through the year.
3. And this belief can loosely be valid for twenty days prior and post the New Year’s dawn.

As per the above beliefs, the New Year had indeed started off well. We had that party that I wrote about and got to spend time with more friends than in most New Year's Eve parties. Our friends have been a huge part of our life so far. I can’t even imagine how we’d have carried on without their support and presence. So yeah, more of those in 2014 we welcome with open arms. And then we woke up, all groggy, after merely 3 hours of sleep, to let the maid in. She brought the house back to the spic and span condition that we both liked.

1.  So in spite of the excesses of social life, I could hope for the practical, mundane things to move smoothly along. This, even though, I am writing at a time when that very same maid has left the job. But…but on hindsight I must say things have moved smoothly along. She was sloppy and I am enjoying household chores right now. The house is still spic and span if I may say so.
2. But could I ignore the other glaring reminder of my insane hmmm…superstition? I got only 3 hours of sleep in the New year! This for a person who calculates sleep hours and ensures she makes up for it somewhere in the day!

Yet this was exactly what happened, when mum fell ill and was admitted in the ICU on 2^nd January 2014. Sleep became a distant memory, hassle and stress became second nature to me and for the very first time the weight of responsibility fell on me. Now on hindsight, I must say, we coped pretty well and she is well and recuperating.The things I have learnt about myself and of others during this scary time, will help me in facing the future too. When she was going through the pain of the symptoms of her illness (caused by Scrub typhus), I couldn't help feeling that the year had actually started bad, but now I can only say that yay, the year has started well. It reinforced my trust in our group of friends, got my family together, gave us a perspective about how precious mum was for all of us, and gave us a chance to connect with relatives who have hardly visited us since dad's death. 

And if I am true to myself, then even the loss of sleep situation could be due to a good thing, right? The other night, after what seemed like a long time, I booked a night show for Dedh Ishqiya. S and I got back only close to 2’o’clock and I had to wake up at 5a.m that day to train online a group of executives who were in in Chicago. The loss of sleep didn't matter one bit and I somehow managed the day. And who knows, if S and I are successful in having a baby this year (which is high on our agenda), then any loss of sleep due to my pregnancy or the little bundle of joy would be welcome. Fingers crossed.

So what am I looking for in this year? Hopefully not more of heart-stopping episodes like mum’s illness. I’d rather trade for a mundane year with my usual hackneyed attempts to get more focused about my writing, interspersed with planning for holidays and movies and outings with friends and dreaming of mum’s yummy biriyani, reading plenty more books than last year, get in shape, try different cuisines (I know it clashes with the previous point) and doing loads and loads of the same things that made last year so special.

 

And I wish the same for you.  Hope this year is filled with all things that are mundane and predictable so that you have the time to plan for all the other things that you always wanted to do.