Valentine's Day - Big Deal (?)

Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day. Yeah, I know…do you even remember? It’s surely tempting to scoff the day, especially if you are single and cynical or if you are hitched and practical or perhaps if are a little of both. But there’s no denying the fact that like all festivals or occasions that have got hyped in the recent past, this day too has gained significance in recent times.Open the newspaper and there are ads galore for dinner deals and the perfect gifts, check the internet and you’ll need to waddle through a great deal of pink and red hearts and e-roses to get to any shopping site. There’s so much temptation all around. It takes a really, really cynical person to not get touched by the ‘love is in the air’ feeling.

Haven’t we all at one point or the other given significance to this day? The day takes on a great deal of importance when:

a) you have someone you’d like to show your love to. This is the coolest opportunity.

b) when you nurse an unrequited love. Sad I know, but there is a certain something about to have loved and lost than to have never loved. Lyrics of even the most undesirable songs hit home…hard.

c) if you still haven’t found your soul mate/partner and are in the cold zone as far as falling in love prospects look. The day does sneak up on you, making you indulge in a bit of self pity (in my case, it was tub loads), and

d) if you are in the threshold of falling for someone. The pressure is definitely high.

I think the culture of celebrating this day started around the time Archies stepped into India. Their cards were to die for, including those rib tickling funny ones for almost all occasions. Then they added the pink and red collectibles (fluffy red velvet pillows with the word LOVE written in contrast, pink or white cuddly teddy bears, love birds, pens with feathers on their butt, key chains with a throbbing heart, you name it, and they had it. Still do…perhaps). Around that time, radio FM launched English channels hosted by RJs with sexy, to-die-for voices and as they read out love messages and dedications on air for Valentines, God forbid if you were single! As I said earlier, wallowing in tub loads of self pity came easy. I still remember trying to be a part of the season by sitting in front of my Hitachi two-in-one system and recording songs after sweet love songs onto tape and playing them for hours later, wondering who I shall be singing or dedicating it too. Perhaps all your cases might not have been as hopeless as mine. But perhaps all of you have not been a romantic like me J.

I am such a romantic that I gulped down M&Bs and other romantic novels by the hundreds, got impatient reading stories written by others that I started writing and narrating love stories of my own, now I am trying to get one of them completed and published. I cry when in love stories one of the protagonist’s dies or when they get together after a conflict. I am a sucker for romantic gestures. I see romance in everything.  

So when S stepped into my life, I felt like I was living my private love story, and I got to experience first-hand all moods of love - the anticipation of the relationship leading somewhere, the confusion when the lines between friendship and love start merging, the thrill of admission and wondering about the future, the fights, the make-ups, the hand-holding, the PDA, the fight for our relationship, getting married and now...living the life we had dreamt together. And in that life, among other things we don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. Yep, we have become the cliché.

But think about it. Whichever the relationship – just seeing each other, falling in love, going steady in a relationship or getting it to its logical conclusion, there are plenty of Valentine’s Day worthy moments. Like making up after a tiff, sharing an ice-cream and fighting over the last bite, receiving an sms that says what you most want to hear, getting cuddled, sharing a comfortable silent moment, just looking at each other intensely or sharing a private moment in the company of friends – a joke which only you two know, a word which means something else to the two of you, receiving an unexpected but lovely gift…there are so many such moments which are unique to every relationship/ couple and these don’t really fall on Valentine’s day. In fact with the pressure of the day and the hype surrounding it, one could be sure of forgetting the above moments.

So what you do on this day depends on whether or not you believe in celebrating your special moments or even reminisce about them. It also depends on whether you have had the time to enjoy your relation. S and I had plenty of time, that’s why we are happy merely enjoying this day like any other. We both think that the best thing to do/give on Valentine’s Day is not what you’d like to do/give your partner, but what that person would like for you to do/give. So here’s a small list of something that may work with your Valentine if he/she shares our tastes.

1. A playlist with his/her favorite songs. Love songs – Yeah! But even songs which your partner loves to hear often. It shows the effort taken, thoughtfulness and if you give him/her a good mp3 player with it then it shows that you have taste too.
2. A bunch of his/her favorite flowers. I love roses and gerberas and S likes lilies, and we generally give each other flowers on any special day. A simple odd bunch of flowers without the tacky cellophane paper covering them, but with a nice satin ribbon tied to their long stems (with the thorns taken off, of course), will not only look good but will also be easy to put in a vase or for showing off to others ;).
   
3. A hand-made card/ e-card with the words written by you. There are plenty of websites that help construct your own card. It’s fun and again it shows that you spent time on it. Do remember to keep it short.
   
4. A nice movie date – book a movie which has got good reviews and is to his/her taste. The key here is to book in advance and not take your valentine from one theater to another looking for last moment tickets.
5. Yep, I am getting to it. Food. Cooked by you – is a new spangled idea. But wouldn't it be better to relax with in a favorite restaurant/ hang-out place or order take-away? You wouldn't be running around the whole day trying to organize the dinner and thereby wouldn't get all tired to enjoy your loved one's company. But if you still love to cook, perhaps you could whip up a single, signature dish and present it with style.
6.  And as many websites shout out hoarse - get cozy. Hold each other, spend some time on your own, away from other people celebrating their day;  perhaps you could visit the beach in the night, sit on the cool sands and listen to the sound of waves washing up the shore. 

So there you go. My two bit to the large literature available on how to spend Valentine’s Day. For those of you who couldn’t care less and who like Hindi music, why don’t you click on the link below, sit back and enjoy while the masters of Bollywood make a believer out of you?

Love_Ke_Liye - Playlist