Those fairy tales always started with a "Once upon a time..." and ended with "And they all lived happily ever after." Happily ever after? How was that even possible? After the rush of emotions and passionate wooing of a loved one, 'a happily ever after' should be yours by right, but all those divorces don't vouch for 'a lovey-dovey don't want to look at the flaws happiness' life.
This pandemic and the myriad things it brought to focus, led me think about what happens to passionate love after the seal of marriage is affixed on it. My knee-jerk response of course would be that the mundane takes over. yes, the mundane. How does mundane look, you ask? Well let me see -
- work, because more often than not, you want to be able to give the world to the other
- food, its preparation, planning and imbibing
- bills, because they follow you everywhere
- commitments - family, friends, relatives, acquaintances - the dinners and the lunches, weddings, parties and the like - some welcome, some best avoided
- an occasional roll in the bed, maybe more if it were those passion filled days following the wedding
- a child, maybe two
- an invalid parent, maybe two
yada, yada yada.
So yes, 'happily ever after' looks more like 'happily never after'. Yet I am sure countless other couples would vouch for a happy life with their loved one, grinding on, facing mundane situations, powering through them to get to the happy part (hopefully). Perhaps they know a secret that is not easily understood by many? What if happiness depended on our 'responses' to the mundane. Like,
- a sexy afternoon interlude or many of those in a busy week day
- a touch or a kiss on the neck amidst watchful family members or friends
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| Pic courtesy - gracefulabandon.com |
- an inside joke shared in said acquaintance's gathering
- companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts but connected by the exact fit of each other's bodies
- the arguments and the making up
- the compliments or an appreciative look - some, many - but definitely expressed
- the thud of your heart when he/she is nearby, just about touching but with a whisper of space
- the taking care during an illness
- the understanding of the others' moods and beliefs
- the very idea of getting to spend a lifetime together....
...well those make up the responses to some of the mundanness that life may throw before the 'happily ever after.' Perhaps some people swear by jazz and funk and being wild for ever and they may carry it off with a little bit of tinkering, but that soon becomes their mundane. It is forever going to creep up in every relation and the only thing I feel will probably keep the happiness trickling in is our response to those moments.
Enjoy the mundane for a happy, healthy ever after. Do you think so too? Drop a line in the comments section!
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