A very happy Women's Day folks!
Marriage and parenthood made me truly understand the importance of celebrating my womanhood; I was proud to be a woman and all that it represented. It gratified me to see strong, empowered women paving the way to make this day count and to make our gender count. Most often Women's Day celebrates an empowered, successful woman and that can sometimes detract from everything else a non-successful, ordinary woman represents. Mostly the focus is on the two extremes - celebrating a successful, strong woman or empowering an embittered/abused/poverty-stricken woman, whereas there are millions of women who simply keep the wheels of the house moving smoothly and are taken for granted because it doesn't count for anything.
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| The ordinary extraordinary hands that bind the family together. Pic: The Oz Safari |
I'm happy that Hindi movies have slowly begun to portray such women and their stories in a realistic, mature manner. In fact, 2017 had to its credit a lot of strong, likable woman characters and also movies that were not afraid to project unusual stories of women. Lipstick Under My Burkha, Secret Superstar, Mom, Naam Shabana, Tumhari Sulu, Noor, Begum Jaan, Anarkali of Aarah to name a few.
I had the opportunity to watching two movies recently, one a 2012 release and the other a 2017 one. Both showed women caught in that strata - of not accounting for much except to keep the household running smoothly and for loving their family - pretty much like you and me.
The first one, English Vinglish, a 2012 release moved me not merely due to its story line but also for the star - Sridevi whose untimely demise has caused a void as far as such sensitive essaying of these kind of roles goes. S and I sat down to watch the movie again, simply because we still couldn't come to terms with the suddenness of her departure from this world.
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| Sashi with the two socially outward members of her family - her husband and daughter |
Sashi's characater, in English Vinglish, is truly a beautiful depiction of a smart homemaker who has to work double hard to earn the respect of the ones she loves - her husband and her growing daughter. Often the two get together and tease her mercilessly for her inability to speak or understand English language fluently. She loves making laddoos, which she has converted into a small entrepreneurial venture. This however is not taken seriously by anyone in the family, except for her sauve mother in law. Her husband's 'compliment' - My wife was born to make laddoos', unwittingly underlines his opinion of her role in the household. Since I train many employees on their English speaking skills, where an employee is judged or taken seriously based on their ability to convey their thoughts in English rather than through their technical skill set, I could empathize with Sashi's character. Upon getting an opportunity to learn English in 4 weeks while on a visit to New York to help with her niece's wedding, she grabs it and works equally hard to master the elusive language and there by earn the respect she craves for. Of course, the movie does get preachy in the end with her giving a long speech about couples respecting and loving one another but the overall treatment of such a common problem that many women, especially home makers face - that of being taken seriously despite shortcomings which the society decides, is noteworthy.
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| Pic: Bollywood Hungama |
At one point, when her New York born and brought up niece remarks it is alright to reciprocate the attention of a male student in her English class, Sashi says - I don't have any need for love; what I really need is a little bit of respect," and dismisses his attentions as if it were a fly sitting on her precious laddoos. I loved that scene - it not only showed that she was not flattered by the sudden attention bestowed on her by someone outside her family, but also that the problem was never a need to look for a replacement for her husband.
There are so many quotes from the movie that I could list, but a couple which truly hit home were -
If a man cooks, it is art. But when a women cooks it is duty," this when she converses with her admirer Laurent who is a French Chef.
Failing in my favourite subject, but passing in another subject is of no use. - when she drops a plate of laddoos made for the wedding at the last minute and has to decide to remake the batch or go for her English assessment under the guise of going to the beauty parlour. No points for guessing that she chooses the former option. I found this so endearing, as it proves that she thinks of making laddoos as a depiction of her true identity than learning English will be.
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| Coming of her own |
This Women's Day I salute such women who know their mind and are so smart, but who are made to feel small only because they don't conform to society's image of a successful, empowered woman. If these women were to leave the houses in search of respect and identity, the family they leave behind will be in shambles. With magic in her work and ordinariness in her presence she weaves the strings of a family together to make it into a beautiful picture. To those many, many mothers and women who empower a family and our social fabric - a big, deep salute.
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| Sulochana a.k.a Sulu |
I would love to write about
Tumhari Sulu in this Women's day blog post, but I need more words for the behenji - Sulu or Sulochana. Another post that will have to be.
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